Recruitment Oh Recruitment

Recruitment.

re·cruit·ment  [ri-kroot-muhnt]  noun

Definition: The process of identifying and hiring the best-qualified candidate to join an organization.

In the University Greek world, however, recruitment takes on a whole other meaning.

For the past few weeks, I prepared for and participated in my first ever Panhellenic recruitment at the University of Florida for my sorority Alpha Epsilon Phi.  Needless to say it was one of the most confusing, exhausting, and rewarding experiences I have yet to endure.

It started out with us learning how to walk and to talk properly, and how to appear absolutely perfect and graceful, despite your agony of the terrible heat and your hurting feet in high heels.  We then moved onto the smell of hairspray filling the room as we all tried out different hairstyles that would make us look flawless, all while making sure our outfits were “GATOR” blue and orange, and not a shade darker or lighter.

We discussed the qualities and types of girls we wanted to join our sorority and set those guidelines that would help us decipher if we were truly connecting with a potential new member during a 20 minute short girl flirting conversation during each round.

So far I had never been the type of girl who was all “Ra Ra” for my sorority, for the thought of calling 200 girls my sisters scared me, and because of the fact that almost all fraternity men disgust me.  However, despite the superficial and judgmental process of recruitment, what I did gain was an amazing bond to this group of girls and finally my admiration to Aephi and all that it stands for.

It took two full weeks of spending almost every waking moment with the same wonderful people, sharing my experiences with them, and seeing a room full of girls cry when I sang at our preferentials ceremony for me to finally see why my sorority is so special.  We weren’t looking for girls who had the fanciest clothes, or who were the tallest and the prettiest.  Instead, we were looking for girls with big hearts who wanted to contribute their knowledge, intelligence, and experiences to better our sorority and community.  These qualities speak volumes, and is exactly the reason why Aephi continues to prosper and hold one of the best sisterhoods at this university.

Regardless of the stressful hours we stayed awake and the anxiety of recruiting the best new pledge class, I loved recruitment because I became closer with many of the girls and gained amazing friendships that will continue to grow each day.  Our new pledge class is also AMAZING, if I do say so myself.  Recruitment was definitely one of those experiences where I had to accept being vulnerable, and I couldn’t be happier that I can now add this to the list of “stepping out of my comfort zone situations.”

What My Breakup Taught Me

About 6 months ago, my nearly 4-year relationship had come to an end.  It seemed as if everything I knew had suddenly vanished and I was left confused and broken-hearted.  I am not going to lie, getting over a break up is tough, for a broken heart is the worst feeling I have felt thus far in my life.  However, it does get a lot easier if you allow yourself to look at things in a positive light and enjoy your life.

Here are a few things I have learned from this whole experience:

First, you need to accept that your relationship is over.  Of course it’s okay to be upset, but if you still have the idea in your head that you will get back together, you will never be able to cut ties and get over him.

You can allow yourself a few days of crying and dwelling, but then THAT’S IT.  The only way to get through it is to be strong and have lots of will power.  The most important thing to do initially is to keep busy.  If your mind is wrapped around a million things, it is hard to focus on a breakup.

Cut all connections from him, whether it’s deleting their Facebook, Twitter, phone number, etc., it’s easier to stop thinking about him when they are “out of sight, out of mind.”

You should not think about what you “should have, could have, would have” done, but instead, do try to think back at the mistakes you made, and fix them so you won’t repeat them the next time.  This is a good time to correct some of your flaws that might have affected your relationship.  For example, I was the biggest pessimist ever, I was too bossy, I was so uptight, and I had the worst self-esteem on the face of the earth.  I know all of them affected my happiness, and therefore affected my relationship, so I took a vow to work on all of them and improve myself.

Do not turn to food because you are upset!  Channel whatever feelings you have into physical activities such as running, or yoga, or any sport.  You want to turn every negative feeling you have into a positive outcome, and that can be achieved by bettering your health and fitness.

Be optimistic! Think of all of your goals and dreams you had for yourself before they included a “plus one,” and start working towards accomplishing them.  Pick up some new hobbies you never thought you would have.  Be daring and take some risks! It is important to step out of your comfort shell because you might find something new that you love and some great new friends who enjoy the same things.

You need to look at a break up not as a tragedy, but as an opportunity.  This is your time to focus on YOU! Being in a long-term relationship sometimes makes us lose who we really are and now is the time to find yourself.  You need to be able to be completely happy and comfortable with yourself, by yourself, and only then will you truly enjoy your life and others will notice.  It is absolutely unacceptable to depend on someone else to provide you happiness.  It is good to be alone after becoming too comfortable with this support system you had where you could just dump all of your problems and complaints.  That is not what a boyfriend is for and sometimes we lose sight of that.

Try very hard not to bring up your ex in conversation and if you find your mind drifting away and starting to think about him, start singing a song either out loud or in your head; I promise it helps.

Do NOT be the girl that always needs a guy by her side. Have some self respect and therefore, do not jump at the first guy who makes a move on you, especially if you are not ready for it.  We don’t want to be breaking hearts while we are trying to mend our own.

On the contrary though, if you do come across a nice guy who is respectful and seems interested in you, don’t be afraid to give him a chance. Just because you got your heart broken once before doesn’t mean you should hide away forever.

You need to realize that maybe this didn’t work out for a reason.  There might have been some characteristics in you or him that together, wouldn’t have lasted, and it might be a while until you see them.  Aside from the many things I needed to change about myself, I realized that my ex was a “runner.” Whenever there were really bad situations, instead of sticking things out “through thick and thin,” he would just leave me over and over again.  That doesn’t seem like the type of person I want to give my whole heart and soul to.  For me, love is enough, and I would want the next guy I give my heart away to, to feel the same way.

If your ex finds a new girlfriend fairly quickly, you cannot look at this as an attack on you or that it has anything to do with you!  It is as simple as this:  men are less emotional than women are, and therefore they are able to move on a lot quicker and easier.  Just because your ex is involved with someone else doesn’t mean you are any less of a person or that you don’t matter.  This is not a competition and nobody is a winner in this situation.  Us women are just usually more careful and selective when it comes to choosing a person we would like to date, and we don’t just take the first opportunity that comes our way based on convenience.  Try your hardest not to compare yourself to the new girlfriend and remember your worth.  Know that someday none of this will even matter because someone far more important will be making you feel like the only person in the world.

Most importantly, you must not hold any sort of grudge against your ex.  You need to have peace in your mind and, despite whatever he thinks of you, want the best for him, because only then will your unhappiness decrease more and more and you can truly let go.

Love yourself, do things that make you happy, smile as much as you can, and I promise another special someone will come along and appreciate all of those things about you and more.

Life Lessons- I Finally Appreciate The Ending To 500 Days Of Summer

For the past few years, I would frequently watch one of my favorite movies, 500 Days of Summer, and completely enjoy it up until the very end.  This was the first movie I had ever encountered that didn’t end with the two main characters living happily ever after, and quite frankly it baffled me as to why it ended that way.

Despite the narrator warning us in the beginning of the movie that this is not a love story, you totally want to forget about that during the middle when Tom falls completely in love with Summer, and even though she breaks his heart, you still have hope that they will end up together in the end.  It made me so upset that someone like Tom, who was nothing but loving and caring, doesn’t end up with the person he thinks he deserves, and instead gets basically dumped on the side of the road as if he meant nothing to her.  Then it finally hit me, this is one of the most realistic movies ever made.  How many times have we actually seen a “fairy tale ending,” like this one in real life? Not too often I would say.  That’s when I realized that those kind of endings are not real and are made for the movies.  I’m not saying people don’t fall in love and get married and live happily ever after, because of course that happens.  It just never occurred to me that sometimes people might have had an interesting past relationship that got them to that point.

I was young and naive when I used to think that my first love would be my only, and that heartbreaks weren’t meant for me.  I used to hate the ending to this movie, where Summer gets married to someone else and Tom eventually meets some other girl at a job interview. All this time I thought Summer was absolutely perfect for Tom, but then I realized that she was never the right girl for him because she never appreciated him like he deserved to be.    Happy endings do happen to everyone, it just might not be in the way you expected, or with the person you expected.  Now, after experiencing a little more of life, I can finally say that I understand and very much appreciate the ending to 500 Days of Summer.  It brings a realistic approach and shows you that life goes on after a heartbreak, and that there really are many, many other fish in the sea.

One Lovely Blog Award

Hi everyone!

Today, while studying like a mad man for my Organic Chemistry 2 final, I happened to be checking in on my blog and came across the sweetest thing ever!  Another amazing blog, Tartars and Teacups has just nominated me for the “One Lovely Blog Award” and I am so excited and appreciative!

The recipient rules to this award:

  • Link back to the blogger that nominated you
  • Paste the award image anywhere on your blog
  • Tell us 7 facts about yourself
  • Nominate 15 other bloggers you like for the award!
  • Post a comment on your nominees’ blogs telling them of their nomination!

7 Facts About Me:

  1. I have dyed my hair every color in the “real hair color” spectrum, but I am naturally   blonde.
  2. I was in the Broadway touring production of Evita when I was 12 years old.
  3. I can recite every line of the movie, The Parent Trap from start to finish.
  4. Any man could win my heart over if he performs Green Eyes, by Coldplay for me.
  5. I have found a new love for the outdoors!  I love hiking, biking, and everything in between.
  6. I could live off of mozzarella sticks and plantains for the rest of my life.
  7. I will find the cure to cancer.

And now for the nominees: